If there’s one day that I would probably remember forever for doing such thing I never imagined I could do, its today. I feel so bad. I lost my temper and I wish I could turn back time.

Before you think of anything out of this world, let me tell you. It probably isn’t what you think it is. Others will probably laugh at my predicament or worry but its no laughing matter to me. Far from it.

For days now, Sophia has been so extra clingy to the yaya to my (and Jon’s) surprise and disappointment. I know it should be a good thing as it only shows or proves how much the yaya probably takes really good care of our little girl, right? But to a stay at home mom like me, I feel so insulted, frustrated, disappointed, useless, insignificant and neglected. OA as it may sound but I’m telling you, I’ve been really feeling bad about this lately. This is quite sudden as the little girl never really preferred the yaya over me before. I’m shocked , honestly speaking and is always close to tears whenever she would look or ask for her yaya when I’m with her. This usually happens whenever she suddenly wakes up from her sleep. Sometimes, at the middle of the night.

I still have yet to figure out why or the reason behind the little girl’s new preference or actions lately but I’m telling you I’m so hurt. It was not so long ago when I was complaining of how I can’t go out of the house unless Sophia is asleep because nobody can put the little girl to sleep but me only to find out now that her longing for somebody else to put her to sleep will bring so much pain to me and isn’t exactly what I wanted. Well, as they say, we need to be careful on what we wish for.

Because I was frustrated, I shouted. I was so pissed. I lost my temper.

I am so bad.

I feel so bad.